Our First Shanghai Barbecue

So on Saturday, May 2, we invited four other couples and their children over for a barbecue. It was a nice mix of people - we had 4 Australians, 3 Americans, 2 Brits and 1 New Zealander-turned-Canadian-turned American. Interestingly, the Brits aren't married to each other (they're both men). Turns out it's quite common for Australians to marry Brits and vice versa. So we had two married Australians present, but no married Brits. The only reason I mention it is that this seems to be a particularly common mixed-nationality western nation pairing. If you meet a German woman, odds are good that her husband is German, too. Same for the French, the Spaniards, etc. But all bets are off when you meet someone from the U.K. - I've found here that they have a 50/50 chance of being married to someone from Australia. Not an earth-shattering observation, but interesting to me, nonetheless.

So anyhow, we had a barbecue it. It was a huge success - Michael's fantastic grill skills deserve the credit. But I think everyone enjoyed a true, western-style meal. Just like at home, everyone brought a dish to pass and we had a good mix of pasta salad, veggie salad, potatoes, burgers, kebabs, corn on the cob, etc. Lots of fun.

It's interesting, though, when you get people together here. At home, if I were to invite some new friends over for dinner, I would get out our good serving platters and nice wine glasses - even if I didn't bust out the China. But here - no one brought their good stuff. Without fail, we all packed that stuff up in boxes and stored it somewhere in our home country. We were all told that it would get broken here - either in transit (likely) or by our ayis (probably not so likely - Lily and most of the others I've met are very careful with everything). So here we are, a bunch of people who all have "proper" entertaining-ware at home, eating off of whatever we can find. With 17 people total (including kids) and only 8 place settings provided by our apartment complex, we found ourselves eating off some very tiny plates at times. But that's the beauty of expatriate life. We are all in this together, and we all understand exactly why the nice dip is being served in a plastic Nemo bowl from Carrefour. We all understand why wine is being served in a plastic Mickey Mouse glass, or in a coffee cup. And the best part is, no one cares.

I understand that in so many ways our lifestyle here does not even begin to compare to the pared-down lifestyle our parents and grandparents lived when they were just starting out. Expat packages are known for their generosity - no one here suffers from a shortage of funds. But here's the thing - people who are up for an expat assignment in a place like China are usually into traveling. So all that extra money goes toward trips to the places we want to see - not toward new serving platters or wine glasses. As a result, we end up living (in a few ways) a more basic lifestyle from a material goods perspective. And as I'm sure you can all predict - we're happier for it. Drinking wine from a Mickey Mouse glass makes for a much funnier story than drinking wine from a fancy wine glass. We all laughed, no one worried about dropping their glass and the kids all picked up on the relaxed atmosphere and enjoyed themselves, too.

I'm sure we'll have many more instances where we're at our house or a friend's house and end up eating food off of a plate we wouldn't dream of using with "company" at home - and we'll have a good time doing it. How relaxed we all are without our "special" things - and how much happier. The trick will be maintaining that when we return to the U.S. and have all that "stuff" again.